Community Matters

For as long as I can remember, my dad has solved a daily crossword puzzle. Or two. During a recent visit, I awoke early in the morning, walked into my parents' dining room area, and found my dad solving the day's puzzles. When he got a little stumped, we worked together to complete the answers. It was fun, this time together doing nothing of major significance. Yet it felt pretty significant. I realized then it’s the seemingly insignificant things that matter most. The simple things we often forget to notice.

My dad and I chatted about random nothingness while we solved the puzzles. One of the puzzle's answers had to do with running a tab, the way people used to do before credit cards existed.

My dad reminisced about when he was a little boy, maybe eight or ten years old, and he'd go to the local corner grocery store to buy a 5-cent bag of peanuts. He’d tell the merchant to put the purchase on his dad’s “tab.” Of course 5 cents was a lot of money back then, so he wasn’t allowed to do that very often. But he still remembers the shop owner’s name—Tony Martorana. Seventy-some years later, he still remembers. Because people took the time to know each other.

His story started me thinking about community. The importance of community. Our current lack of community. My hope that we begin again to recognize our need for community and seek it out. 

Community is defined in the Journal of Community Psychology as

a feeling that members have of belonging, a feeling that members matter to one another and to the group, and a shared faith that members’ needs will be met through commitment to be together.

I imagine “back in the day” there was a greater sense of community. One example is this relationship my dad described amongst patrons and merchants. People trusted each other. When you asked a clerk to put something on your tab, you trusted that the balance would indeed be what you owed and nothing more. And the clerk trusted that you would in fact pay that bill. Each held up their end of an agreement. Your name and reputation meant something in the community because people invested in each other.

I’m thinking about the way things are now. The innovations and advances . . . all the things that supposedly improve our lives and keep us more connected.

I think somewhere along the way we’ve willingly forfeited our community. We’ve stopped getting to know those around us, stopped depending on people and being depended upon.

I’d like to regain that in my own life . . . to look up and look around. To really see the people near me and let them know they are seen. To remind them they can rely on others and be relied upon.

To be a reminder that people still matter.